Wolf dad's book stirs controversy over 'stick parenting'
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Xinhua, November 19, 2011
Liu Weihua's "Harvard Girl Liu Yiting: a character training record" quickly became a bestseller after making its debut 2000, and has sold more than 2 million copies to date. Following its success, more biographies and autobiographies described as "manuals" for child-rearing and early education flew off the presses.
Being an only child usually means being spoiled, but at the same time, parents often set high expectations and impose strict rules.
Parents' anxieties over how to educate their children has created a market for so-called "tiger moms" and "wolf dads" to sell their parenting experience.
Some parents agree and enthusiastically endorse the wolf way.
Wang Fan, the father of a middle school student, said it's necessary for parents to be strict with their children and that he fully understands why Xiao administers physical punishment to his children.
"Parenting with sticks is Chinese tradition. Few people of our generation grew up without beatings and scoldings," said Wang, who works at a financial firm in Beijing.
Sun says China's traditional culture of filial piety, which requires children to obey their parents unconditionally, can also explain the success of the tiger and wolf parenting philosophies.
"Parents who find themselves incapable of getting their children to obey can easily be persuaded to administer physical punishment," Sun said.
"There is a fine line between physical punishment and domestic violence.In many cases, too many beatings and scoldings can lead to psychological problems for children," he added.
Although the books have become bestsellers, it's not hard to find critics of the wolf parenting style.
Wang Xiuling, a kindergarten teacher in northeastern Heilongjiang province, said the wolf method actually tells parents that school exams are the only yardstick for evaluating their children's success.
Xu Yan, dean of the School of Psychology at Beijing Normal University, said that many, if not all parents hope their children become elites, but that way of thinking ignores their children's personal choices and feelings.
The Western philosophy of "all roads lead to Rome" seems to have never worked in China, where prestigious universities and Fortune magazine's top 500 companies have become the only markers of success, Xu said.
Xu said many parents would not send their children to vocational schools even if that meant the the child could get a job.
"Vocational school students and blue collar workers are of lower social status than Peking University graduates. That's why the wolf dad and his children are considered successful," Xu said.
Meanwhile, Li Xinghua, a student at Luxun Middle School in Beijing, said he would never want a wolf dad.
"I would rather go to a second-rate college in exchange for tolerant parents. There is no universal standard for success. Steve Jobs dropped out of college, but he changed the world," Li said.
