With constant pressure from families and careers, a staggering
30 percent of middle-aged couples give up on sex, according to a
new survey.
The survey, the first of its kind to measure intimacy between
middle-aged couples in China, was conducted by American
pharmaceutical manufacturer Eli Lilly Company and the Beijing-based
China Population Communication Center.
Interviewing 32,906 people in 10 big cities including Beijing
and Guangzhou, the poll found that middle-aged couples in the
Chinese mainland seldom communicate in their daily life, and often
rate their sex lives poorly.
The survey suggests that the major problems affecting marriages
are lack of communication, arguments and unsatisfactory sex.
While 46 percent of respondents said they believe a satisfactory
sex life promotes intimacy between couples, most couples admitted
that their sex life has deteriorated since their wedding.
Around 45 percent of couples said that the husband has sexual
dysfunction. Of those, 76 percent said they feel frustrated and
complain about it.
Specifically, 30 percent of middle-aged couples and 25 percent
of couples younger than 30 have given up sex altogether as a result
of physical or psychological problems related to stress.
Many couples also said they were frustrated at the lack of
day-to-day intimacy in their lives.
According to the survey, 41 percent of middle-aged couples only
kiss and cuddle at home when their children are not around.
About 25 percent only want to mind their own business when they
are left alone, either just talking or not communicating at
all.
The older the couples are, the less likely they are to
communicate or act intimately, found the survey.
Another notable finding was that family responsibilities often
lead to a decrease in communication - 37 percent of respondents
said pressure from concerns over their children's education, caring
for parents or finances had led to less communication with their
spouse.
According to Qiu Xiaolan, an expert with the China Sexology
Association, a healthy sex life and frequent day-to-day
communication are the foundations for maintaining an intimate
relationship between husband and wife.
A decline in sex will lead to a decrease in communication and
adversely affect the relationship, said Qiu.
"Due to the heavy burden having a family and a career puts on
middle aged people today, sexual dysfunction is affecting more and
more middle-aged men, overshadowing their relationship with their
wives and undermining the stability of the family," said Qiu.
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(China Daily April 2, 2007)