七、戒語句重復
漢語多重復,以強化語氣;英語則要盡量避免重復。
先生曰:“狼負我,狼負我!”狼曰:“吾非固欲負汝。天生汝輩,固需吾輩食也?!?/p>
"You are an ungrateful beast," complained the man.
"Not at all," retorted the wolf, "it is not that I'm ungrateful, but you men were created for us to devour."
(顏惠慶譯《馬中錫·中山狼傳》)
王曰:“此鳥不飛則已,一飛沖天;不鳴則已,一鳴驚人?!?/p>
"The bird may not have flown yet", replied the King,"Once it does, it will soar to the sky. I may not have cried out yet, but once it does, it will startle everyone."(楊憲益譯《史記·滑稽列傳》
阿凡提借了財主一錠金子,還他時給了他兩錠。
Afanty borrowed a small ingot of gold from a moneybags, but repaid him two ones.(選自艾臨《幽默新大陸》)
以上粗體字都是為了避免重復,下面兩句中的粗體字屬于省譯,當然也是為了避免重復。
又斗爭,又團結,以斗爭的手段,達團結之目的。
Unity, struggle, unity through struggle.
中國人也好,外國人也好,死人也好,活人也好,對的就是對的,不對的就是不對的。
What is right is right and what is wrong is wrong, no matter what it concerns, the Chinese or foreigners, the dead or the living.
為了避免重復,還可將相同的漢字故意譯成不同的英文,如
在78歲高齡的人的眼里,大多數(shù)人都顯得有點年輕。倘若美利堅對44歲以下的人抱有不信任態(tài)度的話,它必將阻止杰佛遜起草獨立宣言,阻止華盛頓領導獨立戰(zhàn)爭,阻止麥迪遜制訂憲法,甚至阻止哥倫布發(fā)現(xiàn)新大陸!
In the eyes of a 78-year old person, most people seem to be little young. If the USA embraces mistrustful attitude to those who are under 44, it would clog necessarily Jefferson from drafting the Declaration of Independence, obstruct Washington from leading Independent War, prevent Madison from formulating the Constitution, and even keep Columbus from discovering the New Continent!
從渲染藝術效果來講,重復并非絕對不允許的,如:
行路難,行路難。
多歧路,今安在?
長風破浪會有時,
直掛云帆濟滄海!
Hard is the way, hard is the way.
Don't go astray! Whither today.
A time will come to ride the wind and cleave the waves,
I'll set my cloudlike sail to cross the sea which raves.
(許淵沖譯《李白·行路難》)
八、戒另起爐灶,走失精氣神,淪為法國作家梅納日所批評的 “不忠的美人”——即語言優(yōu)美但不忠于原文。(參見2005年08月26日《濟南日報》:艾臨文章《不忠的美人與忠實的美人——寫在〈每天幽它一默〉出版后》)嚴復在翻譯《天演論》時偶有為“雅”而不“信” (見陳廷佑《英文漢譯技巧》)。譯文要力求其“信”,盡可能契合漢語原來句子的氣勢、情緒和結構。
例如,元朝人王實甫寫下了《西廂記》,張雪靜改編后并作了翻譯——
掏出張生那封信,回頭環(huán)視見梳妝臺上的梳妝盒,眼睛一轉,心里說有了,將信放了進去,合上蓋時故意壓了一角露在外面。
Rose took out Zhang's letter, she thought, "It would be better to put it in her make-up case, and letter find it herself." So she put the letter in the case, leaving a corner of it sticking out, so that it would be quickly noticed.
不難看出,譯文與原文相去甚遠,互不吻合,成了“兩張皮”。
我們不希望這件事影響中美關系。
China hates to see Sino-US relations damaged by this incident.
用China hates to比"We don't hope"貼切。
吾十五有志于學,三十而立,四十而不惑,五十而知天命,六十而耳順,七十而從心所欲不愈矩。
At fifteen, I had my mind bent on learning truth; at thirty, my words deeds were appropriate; at forty, I perceived truth and doubts ceased; at fifty, I understood what heaven had mandated for mankind; at sixty, I could comply with the appointments of heaven; at seventy, I could do as my heart desired, and never swerved from the path of right.(金沛霖譯《論語》)
你已經(jīng)死在過深的怨憤里了嗎?
死?不,不,我還活著——
請給我以火,給我以火!
Have you perished in this deep rancor and bitterness?
Death? No, no. I'm still alive.
Please give me a light, give me a light!
(歐陽楨等譯《艾青·煤的對話》)
結語一:別以為有本詞典就可動手翻譯了,再好的詞典也不能解決所有的問題。詞典是死的,人是活的,現(xiàn)實生活是千百萬化的,詞典易得,翻譯家難覓。“翻譯可能是宇宙進化迄今所產(chǎn)生的最復雜類型的事情?!边@成了翻譯界的一句名言。翻譯不僅要求譯者有較高的英文水準,對各種句式成竹在胸,脫口而出,還要精通漢語,吃透中文的精神內涵。后者往往是被人們忽視的,相對反倒是更重要的,很多人英語寫得洋洋灑灑,漢語譯得艱澀拗口,問題多出在這里。只有知難而進,學貫中西,才能筆筆如刀,游刃有余。光懂英語,或只懂漢語,都是做不好英漢翻譯工作的。
結語二:由于對翻譯歸屬的認知有分歧,導致了譯文風格上的明顯的反差。南京大學的許鈞認為翻譯是科學,1+1=2;北京大學的許淵沖認為翻譯是藝術,1+1〉2。爭論仍在繼續(xù)。我不想、也無力充當“二許之辯”的和事佬,不光因為他們是名人、是大家,我只想保留自己的見解。竊以為筆者系調和論者,在翻譯上科學性和藝術性兼而有之,就不同的體裁各有倚重。因為在詩歌翻譯方面,我傾向是藝術,1+1〉2,賦予張力,收放有據(jù);在論文、科技翻譯方面,我主張是科學,1+1=2,信守嚴謹,毫厘不爽。我記起傅雷1951年在《高老頭》重譯序言里講過的話,“即使最優(yōu)秀的譯文,其韻味較之原文仍不免過或不及”??梢?,“度”的控制是何等的困難?;谶@一理念,我對文中例句未作太多點評,僅僅以加粗的傾斜字體簡單地提醒和強調,把裁判權交給讀者。畢竟,譯作無定本,眾人即圣人,讀者才是真正的上帝。
(來源:手拉手外語翻譯網(wǎng) 作者:艾臨,山東工會干部學院英語副教授,著有《每天幽它一默》(英漢)等)
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